I Can Be Happy

News alert: sometimes it's hard to be happy.  Sometimes the stack of assignments is taller than the stack of A grades given back.  Sometimes the to-do list is longer than the done list.  Sometimes the hours of sleep during a week are less than the hours of a day.  Sometimes life is just hard.

But I had this little thought: why do we have these hard times?  Yeah, I know it's so that we can become better.  And I do believe it.  Without these times, how would we really be happy, right?  But really just think about how you got all these problems you have right now.  

Why do I have so much homework? ... Because I'm here at a wonderful university learning fascinating things.

Why am I getting so little sleep? ... Because I'm staying up into the wee hours of the night talking to my roommates who make me better every day.

Why do I have a never-ending list of things to do? ... Because I have so many blessings.

Life is truly beautiful.  Sometimes it takes a really hard spurt to jolt us to that reality.  But each and every day, I am living.  And why am I living?  Because Christ died for me.  And I can find and dig out the happiness in living because I know that Someone who loves me is in control of it all.  And no matter what, I can be happy.  

So I will be happy.

Sister Wrubell

Well it's been a while, but it's official: I'm soon-to-be Sister Wrubell!  On July 10th, 2013 I will enter the Provo MTC and two weeks later leave to serve in the Nebraska Omaha mission as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I have never in my life been so happy and peaceful and grateful about anything.  Ever.

I opened my call on a Friday - even after it arrived at my house on a Wednesday.  My dad was out of town ... it's a good thing I love him so much.  I opened it with just my family.  It was one of the most special moments of my life.  I'm so grateful all five of them were there with me.  Later that night most of my friends came over and we had a mini-shindig.  I'm so grateful for all of the people who are supporting me in this decision.

I have done conducted heavy duty research on Nebraska since a month ago when I found out where I will be serving the Lord.  It is officially the most amazing state ever.  Come on - Kool Aid was invented there.  Warren Buffett lives in Omaha - Mr. Buffett, prepare to be converted!  It holds the world's largest porch swing - this place is just perfect.  It doesn't get much better than that.

But most of all, I am just beyond excited to go there and serve Heavenly Father's children.  I know it will be the hardest thing I have ever done.  But I also have no doubt that it will be the most amazing and rewarding 18 months of my life.  I can't wait to find people and teach them and love them.  I can't wait to come so much closer to my Lord and Savior.  I can't wait to become someone Heavenly Father will be proud of.  I can't wait to give myself over completely to Him and be an instrument in His hands.  I can't wait to be Sister Wrubell.

You Were Made to Be Awesome

This video definitely made my day today.  So if you want your day made, I suggest you watch it.  Like I would suggest you get out of the water if you see a "shark warning" sign.  Like I would suggest you drink water if you're parched.  Like I would suggest you buy a book you've always wanted if it's on sale.  

How can you not feel like you can conquer the world after that?  You were made to be awesome.  It's true.  So don't waste any time.  Get on it.  

I have a really fabulous life.  Not fabulous like limos and mansions and butlers and yachts and Prada and money.  But fabulous like friends and knowledge and food and a job and the gospel and family.  According to dictionary.com, fabulous: almost impossible to believe; incredible.  By definition, my life sounds pretty fabulous to me.   

And lately I've been thinking a lot about how blessed I am.  And how I really need to be better.  A better sister, a better daughter, a better roommate, a better missionary, a better student, a better friend, a better stranger, a better liver (not like the organ but like a person who lives.)  Because Someone gave me this life.  And I want to live worthy of it.  

But what if you were told you only had a few days to live?  Who would you talk to?  Where would you go?  What memories would crowd your mind?  What would you want to change?  What pictures would you look at?  

One thing's for sure.  I probably wouldn't be sitting here on my couch cuddled under my yellow monkey blanket listening to Taylor Swift and typing on my keyboard.  

I would like to think I would be making someone happy.  Or reading a book.  Or laughing with my family.  Or learning something new.  Or trying something good.  Just living a better life.  Because that's all I get to take with me when it's all over.

So live your life the way you know it should be lived.  Look outside like you're seeing light for the first time.  Wake up like you thought you wouldn't get another day.  Dance to that music like you just found your arms and legs.  Read that book like you won't know the ending unless you finish it tonight.  Love that person like this is the last time you'll see them.  Live this very second like it's the very last one you get.  And do something fabulous.

Because you were made to be awesome.

The Love of Family

"I sustain myself with the love of family."

-Maya Angelou

I kind of like my siblings.  A lot.

This is Caitlan.  She likes soccer, photographs, The Bachelor, writing, eating, sleeping, talking, listening to all music, being called Wruby, and friends.

With her I shop, talk about boys, watch music videos, take pictures, think, and smile.

This is Regan.  He likes Phineas and Ferb, writing, talking, reading, being a brother, playing MarioKart, the Avengers, unwrapping gifts, and laughing.

With him I watch movies, eat popcorn, think of stories, go to Orange Leaf, and grow.

This is Afton.  She likes every color, laughing, books, singing, learning, talking  all the time, doing puzzles, learning, thinking she's a grown up, and loving.

With her I sing One Direction, watch chick flicks, talk on the phone, do hair, and laugh.

Without these three people, I'm pretty sure I'd be as useless as a car without tires, Taylor Swift without a break-up, a book without pages, Downton Abbey without Mary, this world without a Savior.

Running Was Worth It

I ran.  I ran out the door and down the stairs and around the corner and past those people and took another turn and then another because I had no clue where I was.  Finally I made it to a bathroom in the Smith Field House to change from my slippery sweat pants and pineapple t shirt into a skirt and jacket and heels.  Don't worry.  This was only the fourth time that day I had changed my clothes.  Class then dentist then work then class then this.  It was my longest day in existence and I was about ready to pass out.  To just fall on the ground and let everyone walk around me - which would normally make me feel extremely uncomfortable.  But I was going to make it to that play on time if it killed me.  

So I ran some more.  I ran out into the cold that cut my cheeks like little paper cuts and up the dreaded "kill me now" RB stairs and past the library where I was recently spending the majority of my time and finally in the door of the HFAC.  

We were sitting in our seats: Afton, me, Mom, and Cait in our respective cushioned seats.  I couldn't remember the last time sitting had felt so nice.  It still felt like my legs were moving, one foot in front of the other, like they had been all day.  But now I could just sit.

Afton is hilarious.  She talks a million miles an hour, sings a million notes a measure, and shows a million emotions a minute.  So we sat and talked and teased and laughed.  Finally the auditorium went dark, with one bright light shining on the stage; it was as if the anticipation of every person in the cavernous room had culminated in that one square inch. 

Honestly, I was planning on falling asleep.  I was so exhausted, I'm pretty positive I could've fallen asleep through the sound of the BYU student section during a tied BYU-Utah game.  I couldn't imagine Phantom of the Opera holding my consciousness much longer.  

Boy was I wrong.

The play kept Afton awake.  That means something.  She has the attention capacity squirrel.  And she only complained once - and it was during the intermission so that doesn't really count.  

I still can't believe how good it was.  No.  Not good.  That doesn't really do it justice.  That's like saying the Atlantic ocean is kinda big.  Or Princess Kate's wedding dress was cute.  Or Tillamook Mudslide ice cream is chocolatey.  Or the Holocaust was sad.  Or the novel Les Miserables is long.

When the Phantom sang, I literally cried.  Now that may not mean much, coming from me - the queen of criers.  But it reached something deep in this place kind of in between my heart and my throat.  It was so real.  That man standing on the stage really loved Christine more than anything else he knew.  He really felt so outcast and alone that he would steal, lie, and kill to have someone - her - there with him in the depths of the opera house and in the depths of his heart.  

To just sit there and listen and watch and feel.  My arms were covered in goosebumps, my mouth sat agape, and tears gathered in the corners of my eyes near my nose.  I glanced down at Afton.  She sat erect, wide eyes looking even wider, as her gaze followed every action on stage.  I could tell that it had hit her in that special place between her heart and her throat.

And in that moment, all that running was worth it.

Something New

Okay so blogging.  I don't do this.  But maybe I should try something new.  It probably wouldn't kill me.  But if it does I'm holding you (whoever you are) personally responsible.  I think I'll just do this for me.  To write thoughts, practice writing, and have fun.  Let's see how this works out ... 

Well ... uh ... let's get rid of this awkward pause when you first meet someone new.

I'm Jocelyn Rose Wrubell.  I'm currently 20 years old.  I'm a sophomore at BYU and I am an oldest sister.  I have Cait who's 17 and funny, Regan who's 9 and smart, and Afton who's 7 1/2 and crazy.  I love them with everything I have.  Plus I have Mom and Dad who make me better every single day.  I have three awesome roommates who keep me laughing daily.  I love love love reading a lot a lot a lot.  I love yellow, ice cream, fuzzy socks, organized things, laughing, babies, One Direction, scriptures, family, decorating, warmth, school, pasta, friends, Downton Abbey, and my Savior.  And I'm about done filling out my mission papers.  I just really love this gospel and all of the joy and truth and life it has given me and I simply cannot WAIT to share that with other people, wherever that is.

Well so yeah.  That's basically me.  Let's see how this new blogging thing works out.  I think it might go well.  I like you already.  Nice first impression. :)

And here is the greatest music video ever.  You're welcome.